3 weeks and going strong

I'm riding the roller coaster of living without numbing out.  The last few days I have been feeling surprisingly down for no reason.  Last week I had so much energy.

I realized I am so in tune with my emotions that it dawned on me that while drinking I would numb out at all times so I wouldn't have to feel the stresses of regular life.  One imparticular is the relationship I have with my 3 kiddos.  They bring me such joy and lots of angst too.  Handling the demands each have of my and their bickering amongst each other has been quite challenging and very uncomfortable!  I use to just power through with a smoke screen, blocking out the irritating feelings.  Getting stuff done was with my physical being not my emotional being.  I do not care for constantly organizing and getting their needs met ALL the time.  It's exhausting.  I just need to take some time when I completely check out in a healthy way.  I think I will incorporate a DND (Do nothing day) once a week (half day) where I do nothing for my family and do everything for myself.  I can look forward to that day when Im in the midst of crazy family stuff and just calmly smile with the gentle thoughts of my DND!